Fascism vs. Communism

I once had a student who thought I was an odd professor because I am also a consultant. She poked a lot of fun at me for this. I also discovered while grading one of her papers that she thought Hitler was a communist. Maybe she meant to say Hitler was a socialist (which he was) but Hitler was in fact intent on destroying communism, among other things and people. So I wrote her this note to help her understand the differences between the two systems, and to help her see consulting in its proper perspective, too. I was rather pleased with the result so saved it for the general edification of my fellow netizens:

Of course, I would be derelict if I didn't point out that you are confusing communism (a "classless" society where property is held in common under a dictator or oligarchy -- wait a second, that's not exactly a classless society then, is it?) with fascism (government and business are merged under a dictatorship which advocates extreme nationalism). WWII was in large part a conflict between these two incompatible systems of thought. Hitler was a fascist, and would have no doubt made a better consultant than Stalin the communist. Stalin, on the other hand, killed at least 3 times more people than Hitler ever did, and did not do any consulting whatsoever, being so busy with killing people as he was. Murdering 20 million of your own countrymen and women is a full-time job, as Stalin complained frequently, and it played havoc with Stalin's singing career. I'm sure that Stalin was very tired at the end of the day and would have liked to have been able to hire a consultant who could tell him how to kill smarter, not harder. Stalin might have employed Hitler if Hitler were not such a slacker, and have such mediocre ability as an artist. Plus, Hitler was always getting more press for the number of people he killed, when it was in fact Stalin that was killing multiples more. That, and the fact that Hitler was invading Russia at the time made for some misunderstandings between the two men that ultimately interfered with Hitler's career. Hitler always suspected Stalin of being sarcastic with him, but he was never sure, which made Hitler feel very insecure. During his depilatory treatments, Hitler would frequently complain about there being a glass ceiling through which no dictator could break through in the good-old-boys club that was communist Russia at the time--although he repeatedly tried to break through at Leningrad. It wasn't until Stalin sent Hitler a big bouquet of pansies and a nice card with lace around the edges that Hitler retreated back to Germany, claiming victory all the way home. Hitler never realized that Stalin's card was sarcastic.

Your one-stop shop for educational accuracy,

KR

(Naive readers, please note the above is strictly tongue-in-cheek.)